You see I'm having a bit of a bad time at the mo and I thought by the age of 41 things might have got just a little bit easier. I was promised that life begins at 40 and instead it seems to be falling apart at the seams slightly, like an old pair of well worn knickers.
I kept my promise to work hard and be nice to people and love all those creatures that come my way (although foxy is at the bottom of the list along with those spiders with the hairy knees that come out the plughole) So I am hoping in return you may do something for me..
Firstly, I would like you to send a large bolt of lightning down upon the person who did the damage to my lovely little new car. I thought that it was a tad spiteful to pull off the wing mirror and dent and scratch the door whilst walking past on Monday night and I really dont want to have to sell Florence to fund the £300 insurance excess, not after you helped me with finding her after all these years. I have grown quite fond of her and have just purchased some lovely 1950s fabric for her curtains.It would be a shame not to be able to use it, now wouldn't it?
Could you also see to my truck battery please? We have fiddled and twiddled with it and now it's making me a bit behind with my gardening and a little bit cross if I'm honest.
Thank-you for keeping the fox away, the poorly girls are now better and for making Mr Stobart understand about the stolen orange juice saga, even though Pete has been the brunt of many "looking well..must be all that vitamin C you've had recently " jokes. Thanks also for letting me keep my sense of humour through all of this, I dont know what I would have done if you took it away.
I will, with baited breath,await your response. your faithful servant, Sairer x
P.s. I'm still waiting for a bum like Kylie's but I imagine you get a few requests, so I'm happy to wait a little longer, oh and it's the SATURDAY lottery we play..just incase you forgot. x
4th September edited to say; Florence is for sale on EBAY if you are interested :0(