Wednesday, 1 September 2010

A letter

Dear sir
(man upstairs/creator of the universe)

I wish to make a complaint.

You see I'm having a bit of a bad time at the mo and I thought by the age of 41 things might have got just a little bit easier. I was promised that life begins at 40 and instead it seems to be falling apart at the seams slightly, like an old pair of well worn knickers.

I kept my promise to work hard and be nice to people and love all those creatures that come my way (although foxy is at the bottom of the list along with those spiders with the hairy knees that come out the plughole) So I am hoping in return you may do something for me..

Firstly, I would like you to send a large bolt of lightning down upon the person who did the damage to my lovely little new car. I thought that it was a tad spiteful to pull off the wing mirror and dent and scratch the door whilst walking past on Monday night and I really dont want to have to sell Florence to fund the £300 insurance excess, not after you helped me with finding her after all these years. I have grown quite fond of her and have just purchased some lovely 1950s fabric for her curtains.It would be a shame not to be able to use it, now wouldn't it?

Could you also see to my truck battery please? We have fiddled and twiddled with it and now it's making me a bit behind with my gardening and a little bit cross if I'm honest.

Thank-you for keeping the fox away, the poorly girls are now better and for making Mr Stobart understand about the stolen orange juice saga, even though Pete has been the brunt of many "looking well..must be all that vitamin C you've had recently " jokes.
Thanks also for letting me keep my sense of humour through all of this, I dont know what I would have done if you took it away.

I will, with baited breath,await your response.
your faithful servant,
Sairer x

P.s. I'm still waiting for a bum like Kylie's but I imagine you get a few requests, so I'm happy to wait a little longer, oh and it's the SATURDAY lottery we play..just incase you forgot. x

4th September edited to say;
Florence is for sale on EBAY if you are interested :0(

ooh lets have a bit of bluegrass...


  1. Just as you turn a corner, wham! Glad to know the other things are looking sorted.

    We'll keep all our fingers crossed for saturday!

    Hope there is a bit of luck lurking around the corner.

  2. if you manage to get the Kylie bum let me know - i might start praying!

    Hope your trials improve!

  3. Well I know I shouldn't laugh at other peoples misfortunes, but your blog is great! I always read it out to my OH you have a lovely sense of humuor, keep smiling. Let us know if the letter works and we can all write one!!
    hugs Jill x

  4. Fab!!!

    Hope your 'prayers' are answered though, you know what men are like, selective deafness and all that!

    With a sense of humour like yours, you will be just fine. I promise!


  5. Dear Sairer, I've just realized that I never came back and "releft" the message that Blogger wouldn't put through for me, last time, alas. The point being, I've never seen anyone make constant sorrows so chipper! You can share all the ups and downs - you have a brilliant way of doing it. WE will cheer you on and send lots and lots of wishes your way for things to be wonderful and happy! That's what I'm doing right now!

    I'm so sad about your bunny and your girls!!! Wretched fox! Poor truck!

    I hope that you do win the lottery - you've earned it!!!!!!!

    Best wishes and love, Katy

  6. There has to be a silver lining somewhere amidst all those clouds. I'm looking forward to seeing Florence decked out in her 50's finery so I hope the Big Guy Upstairs comes through soon!

  7. I hope that your letter gets read and acted upon!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have a lovely day! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  8. :D Lovely. I hope he listens. So glad to hear the Stobbard business was settled. xx

  9. I think he's pretty good with the thunderbolt thing as ****(choose any rude word you want)always get their punishment in the end. Kylie bums I'm not so sure he's very generous with.

    Hope you're feeling as chipper as you sound Sairer. Keep shouting and laughing at it all, it's the only way.


  10. Oh darling, you are such a sweet-natured person and I HATE it when bad things happen to nice people!!! Grrr, I hope you sell Florence for £2000 and have some nice things happen to you soon. Sending over some good luck from Tinyolder HQ!!!

    Sian x

  11. OMG hun! just catching up on your news as weve been away in Cornwall - luv your letter and really hope your prayers are answered - fingers crossed you get the Kylie bum too hehe!

    will popin and see you,

    Jaki xxxxxxxxxx

    oh you must pop round and meet the new kitty!!

  12. oh sairer, I am sorry you are having such a poo time at the moment. Have you considered large slices of cake? bound to help xx

  13. Just catching up with you, as I've been away. What a shame you have to let Florence go - fingers crossed she goes for a bomb.
    Keep smiling!

  14. It has been quite a long time since I visited your amazing blog! It really is captivating. I love your style of writing... humorous. We too have at least one fox that lives near us in the suburbs of NY! I can't let my precious Maltese pup who weighs 6 lbs. outside the house!!! Your poor hens. I hope their trauma is subsiding. I'll be back to visit more often!

  15. Lindo seu blog, Parabéns pelo bom gosto.


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