It will have been one year since my beautiful niece died at the age of 16.
She was a gorgeous girl with the most wonderful soul.The kind of person that touches your heart with their unselfishness and love and an amazing zest for life.
Josie died of leukaemia.
She fought until the end, having had 2 bone marrow transplants, but when there was no treatment left to have and she new she wasn't going to see another year, she decided that instead of spending her last few months in and out of hospitals, she wanted to spend time with her family, giving them happy memories and trying to take their minds off the inevitable. Their minds.
Saying goodbye to this darling girl was the hardest thing Ive ever had to do in my life. I wanted to hug her tiny fragile body so hard that I would absorb her into mine.What do you say when you leave someone knowing that it would be the last time you would see them? what words do you use..take care? see you soon? hope you feel better soon? there is nothing you can say its so hard. Josie would get upset if you cried, she felt bad that she was making people unhappy. Endlessly, she thought of others.
The day she died, strangely my mantlepiece clock stopped at the the exact time of her death.(it took me months to pick up the courage to alter the time) My other sister had a red mark appear on her chest in the most perfect shape of a heart and a few weeks later I had a beautiful dragonfly land on my arm whilst in the garden, totally out of season..I froze before bursting into tears. .
They played puff daddy's 'I'll be missing you' at her funeral and each of us laid a single sunflower by her tiny white woven casket. I didn't think it was possible to cry that much.
Darling Josie, our hearts broke that day but we know you're around trying to help us fix them back together... we miss your funny tales and that beautiful face, but we think of you everyday. xx
Give your son/daughter/ loved one a hug today. A big hug.