Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Christmas wishes (updated*)

Do you think if I hide under the bed, right under the bed with the suitcases waiting to go in the roof and the boxes of 'things' with no home that loiter there, Christmas will come and go and we wont notice it?
I love Christmas, really love it,but this year it's all going to be different.
We hit rock bottom yesterday.. a letter arrived in the post telling Pete to prepare himself for a very likely redundancy.He should find out today, his fate.
We have no insurance.We have no savings.We do however have an extremely large overdraft.
Scary times. Very ,very scary times.The boys have been primed that there will be no filled stockings, just a couple of things under the tree. I really hope they don't think I'm teasing like I used to when they were little, just to see their faces fill with glee at the unexpected presents that Santa Claus left for them in the night. I really hope they understand..
I couldn't even face decorating the tree this year, a tree that a nice Polish man let me have at a reduced price because I was a few quid short in my purse.Harry decorated it..he's such a good boy, it does look sweet..robins and toadstools, mooses and berries. We did have some spotty ribbon to go on it, but that can wait til next year. He's doing his best to make it all ok in a way that only a 15 year old boy knows how to.Quietly helping, doing the little things that mean a lot.
Gosh I sound a right miserable old tart don't I?.
I'm wired up to a blood pressure monitor at the moment,just coming to the end of its 24 hour stint..what a vile instrument that thing is! Needless to say I didn't get much sleep last night with the cuff round my arm suddenly inflating at hourly intervals and worrying about one thing or another..so I'm probably grumpier than usual.
The dog had a seizure and peed all over the floor, the boiler has packed in and I've had bronchitis..the recent operation I had hasn't worked it's magic yet so I'm still waiting with baited breath. I look in the mirror and see a stranger..a pasty looking person with dark rings round her eyes and no smile. I've lost the person I used to be and I'd really like her to come back for a bit.Every year we've lit a candle on Christmas eve and made a wish before bedtime. It's going to be a bit of a big one this year..I do hope he's listening!

One thing I am enjoying is other people's excitement, I love reading your happy blogs with pretty pictures and seeing what everyone else is getting up to.
This year I'm having Christmas through your eyes and it's all lovely..thankyou for that, for sharing it...for sharing the happiness with a grumpy old trout like me. x

*updated 17th December
Pete spent 7 hours awaiting his fate.Watching his work colleagues and good friends being called into a room, one after another and coming out with no job, no compensation, nothing but a look of sadness and dread on their faces.
Pete and only 2 of his colleagues still have their jobs.. for now, but they dont know how long they can keep them for.
He said it was awful, really awful ..waiting for your name to be called and knowing there's a family at home counting on you, depending on you.
Although he's pleased he has a job, I think he feels very guilty at the same time.
I can see it in his eyes.Those bright turquoise blue eyes I noticed 19 years ago are now tired and bloodshot.
One of the lads wives had just had their first baby and now today he has no job.
It's certainly become scary times we live in, very scary indeed.

55 comments:

  1. Gosh I am so sorry to hear your scary news. It is such a darned scary time, especially just before Christmas. What and utter nightmare.
    I hope you can enjoy Christmas and it all rights itself. Fingers crossed for some hopeful good news.

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  2. So sorry to hear your bad news, you really have had a run of bad luck, I hope that candle wish pays out some serious good things for you in the new year, you are definitely owed some good luck.

    I too have experience a 24 hour blood pressure test, so I know how awful it is to be woken up every hour of the night to your arm being squeezed to death, it should be used as a method of torture!

    I'm feeling really shitty at the moment too, what with being ill and living in chaos for the last two months, while the builders are in converting our out-building into an annex for my father-in-law (he has been living in our spare bedroom/my sewing room for the past three months, and I can't wait till he's in his own space, and I can reclaim my space, and our one and only bathroom back) it's all making me feel depressed and run down, which is why I'm probably ill, but hopefully it will be finished soon and I can get the house back into some sort of normality, to top it all off I've got to go to Ella's first school play tonight when I really should be in bed, but I can't let her down.

    Anyway, sorry about the rant, I don't really feel I can write about it on my blog because I know that some of my husbands family read it, and I don't want to upset anyone unintentionally . Reading about how low you are at the moment makes me feel that I'm not alone in not feeling particulary christmassy this year.

    I wish you all the luck, I'll be thinking of you when I make my christmas wish this year, and I really hope that you get some good news soon.

    Jessx

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  3. What a crappy time you are having! My hubbo got made redundant a few years ago and to be honest we coped, hubbo decided a new change of career was needed, and he has not looked back since!

    All I will say is act straight away on your finances talk to folk straight away, you won't believe how understanding they can be!

    Keep smiling

    Vanessa x

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  4. Hi there - sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time, I really hope that your hubby manages to keep his job, you are right in saying these are tough times - Me and My hubby run our own shop, so the whole household income comes from that - we have struggled with a drop in takings and 2009 looks like it could be pretty bleak too - anyway, listening to my problems is not going to make you feel any better I know. Im sure your kids will understand that things are tight. Heres hoping to a much brighter new year - take care - love Natalie x

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  5. Hi.I don't have a blog but love to read yours..your mention of your 15yr old quietly being there and helping out just had me with a giant lump in my throat and a tear in my eye....my 23 yr old son is out of work at the moment and had an interview today....I feel like he is 15 again...not a lttle boy/not quite grown up but being very manly....please remember that everything changes and I'll pray for you (if you don't mind)..health and happiness for Christmas.

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  6. Sairer / prettyshabby16 December 2008 at 18:02

    thankyou Deirdre-with-no-blog!..I do hope your sons interview went well today..we'll always worry about them even when they are big,strong men, they still seem like those vunerable little boys some days.x

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  7. Sorry to hear your news. I know things seem tough, but you have each other and your 15 year old has done a marvelous job with that tree, things will seem better if you all stick together. Make it you and your family against the world, and as Vanessa above says, talk to people about your finances, keep on top of things, never be tempted to bury your head in the sand.

    I speak from experience, just when you think you've hit rock bottom there are usually a couple of more feet left to fall, but then, miraculously things start to get better.

    Take pleasure in the little things and in your family. And make that wish!!

    Wishing you ALL a Happy Christmas together and a brighter and better New Year.

    Sue xx

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  8. Dear Old Trout,
    I think you have a right to feel grumpy, what with being poorly and financial worries too. Redundancy couldn't come at a worse time of year. I was shocked, nay horrified to learn that our contact at one of our supplies was made redundant last week. Talk about the seaon of goodwill and all that.
    Do take care of yourself, I'm sure stress makes one ill, and make that really really big wish, and wish extra hard. I'm sure it will come true.
    Carolyn x

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  9. Who likes to see dark clouds roll up
    And hide the bright blue sky?
    Who welcomes rain that spoils the fun?
    Why, neither you nor I.
    But day by day (as all through life)
    It's good to know the rain
    Will pass, the clouds disperse, and soon
    The sun will shine again

    By Francis Gay

    Sending you all strength and health,
    Jo
    x

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  10. Hello...
    I'm so sorry for you, what a dreadful thing to happen before Christmas, I really feel for you.....i really hope that his job by some miracle is saved....how likly is it?

    Can you get some help? Via the goverment, maybe you will be entitled to something?

    I actually feel choked for you, i have real empathy for this situation you are in.....

    I'm sending you the biggest hug EVER(((((hug))))).....

    Love
    MelMelxxxxx

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  12. Sorry i pressed the button twice...my commented deletedX

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  13. It is hard when things like this happen at Christmas. It shouldn't be any harder this time of year than others, but it is. There are all these special things that we do this time of year that you want to keep on doing or think you SHOULD be doing. We've had several years of these kind of time ourselves. Last year my Mom had a stroke right before Thanksgiving and I was helping take care of her. This year, my Dad died and my husband's grandfather has also this week, and my Mom has had some problems as well. Not to say my problem are the same as yours, they are not, but just to say that I understand a little how you feel about the holiday season.

    I would say do what you feel up to doing and let other things go. My youngest dd(grown and married) helped my dh put up the tree last year as I was at my Mom's and when I did get to come home while my brother stayed with my Mom for a few days, I helped put the ornaments on. It did feel good to do something traditional and routine and I enjoyed seeing the trees up and decorated. It was so sweet of your son to decorate and he did a good job, BTW.

    We didn't put out all of our Christmas decorations around the house, though, and that was ok. This year I am just now putting the lights on the trees and decorating. Not sure how much of the extra decorations will get put out.

    Take care of yourself. Best wishes that things will turn out ok.

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  14. xxxxxxx
    can i come round and hide under the bed with you?
    so sorry times are poo at the moment - i keep telling myself that it has to get better because in all honesty it cannot get any worse - i pass this mantra on to you sweet friend x
    do as i do and avoid all mirrors, keep looking at happy blogs and look towards a brighter future :)
    always here if you need a rant or a chat
    hugs to you all
    t x

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  15. So sorry you are going through such a horrid time at the moment. Keeping my fingers crossed for you that your husband manages to keep his job. I really hope Christmas is ok for you. I'm hoping 2009 will be so much better for you. Hugs x

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  16. I think I may have said this before but you must trust that where you are is where you are supposed to be. I do beleive that things happen for a reason although usually we dont see the reasons until after the hard time has passed, and it will pass. I think your son did a marvellous job on the tree. Actually it is quite like ours with birds, mushrooms and birdhouses! Surround yourself with as many happy things as possible and DO THINK POSITIVE!

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  17. Oh I'm so sorry, I think it's a tough time for everyone at the moment. Does your husband have a back up plan? You know, you are so talented with your home decoration and making beautiful things - you could be the new Cath Kidston if you put your mind to it!

    What does your hubby do?

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  18. Hi,

    not posted before, but wondering why you had 24 hour blood pressure monitor? I know its no joke when your health isnt right, and i hope that your health concerns can be sorted for you soon.

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  19. sairer / prettyshabby16 December 2008 at 23:59

    Hi Sarah,In answer to your question, I have had quite high blood pressure recently and they just wanted to monitor it every half an hour and hourly through the night to see if it was consistantly high,if it turns out it is I have to go on tablets to control it but you have to stay on them for life, there's no quick fix for high blood pressure unfortunately. It's just one more thing in a long line of health problems I've had recently..I rarely go to the doctors and it seems to be catching up with me of late!

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  20. Good Evening from Atlanta, Georgia

    I read your blog quite a bit and enjoy it very much. I'm so sorry for your run of hard times. Having lived in Ireland for a couple years, I understand redundant, but I'm afraid alot of Americans may not know what it entails.

    You are in my prayers.

    Miss Lila in Atlanta

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  21. Hi Sairer, I really feel for you - I hope your OH has some better news, or manages to find another job. As far as Christmas goes, I'm sure your kids will understand - your 15 yr old sounds like such a good lad - probably very protective of his mum right now. As long as you all keep communicating how you're feeling, you'll all pull together I'm sure.

    Big hugs to you all (((HUG)))

    Willow x

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  22. I'm so sorry to read how rubbish things are for you. I hope you and your family have some good news soon - you definitely deserve it :)

    Tracy x

    (I think your tree looks brilliant and very festive - what a fantastic son you have.)

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  23. How are you feeling today?xx

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  24. I'm so glad that your being positive....:>))

    I'm like you, always got a plan.....good thing to do!

    Have a good day!xxxx

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  25. I hope your Husband keeps his job !!
    Life can be so hard sometimes ,I dont blame you for hiding under the bed ,sounds like a good idea .
    You have full rights to have a good old rant .
    I think lots of people are having a hard times ,not much cheer in the air .And the stupid media are always reminding us of Credit crunch .
    I hope all turns out well for you ,I really do .I often read your blog but never leave a comment ,I felt I had to today .
    Love from sesga xx

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  26. I thnik, your son has done a very good job with your christmas tree. It is very beautyfull.
    I hope, that you and your familie will stay ina healthy condition and your husband keeps his job. And that you will find a new one soon. I coss me fingers for you and will make a good wish for you on christmas.

    Lg
    Christiane

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  27. Hi, there couldn't be a worse time for such news, I really hope things pick up for you and I'm sure they will. It does help to get it of your chest though.

    Last Christmas was pretty awful for us, Nan (in-law) died 19th Dec, I wrote the car off on some ice on Christmas Eve afternoon (ended up in a ditch on it's side facing the way I'd come from - pretty scary) spent rest of day in A&E and then my dear dad died on 16th January. Really wasn't a good start to the year so I'm optimistic for next year even with all that's going on in the world.
    Your son has done a great job with the tree, I hope your Christmas wish comes true.
    Lots of good luck to you. Nicky

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  28. Oh what a sad post.
    This time of year is just so anti-climatic.
    I do hope you feel more like your old self soon.
    Squeezy hugs
    xx

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  29. Oh Sairer, just when you think you were getting back on track, everything is definatly sent to try us, but you sound like you cope exceptionally, especially with that wonderful sense of humour of yours!! 15yr old did a great job of the tree, Max my 9yr old acted more like a 15 yr old doing our tree....does that make sense?? Huffing and puffing like he'd been told to empty the bin....lol....take care hun, Claire xx

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  30. Oh Sairer you and yours really do deserve a break. My Christmas wish for you is that better luck comes for you very, very soon. If nothing else I hope you get the chamce to gather your loved ones close and share a teeney piece of joy in just being together. Gosh that sounds so cheesey but I do mean it and will have everything crossed for you. Wishing you more peace and lots more joy.
    Love Stephxxx

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  31. Hi Sairer
    What a bad time you have been having lately I really admire you for baring all on your blog at such a difficult time for you.You really are due some better luck and I so hope that things improve for you including your health. Your tree does look lovely your boy has done a smashing job for you.
    Thinking of you take care
    Sarahx

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  32. Hello to you from New York.

    We have not met, and probably will not meet ... in reality. All the same, I have read quite a few of your posts, and do want to send some support your way.

    Over here, I also know of many folks who have been working at good jobs and really doing well for years, who now are facing no job with which to greet the new year. Most of them feel that they can sort of out wait the unknown that the current financial meltdown is pressing upon our usual Christmas cheer.

    I applaud your approach to what you might be facing, and your recognition of how other folks have gotten some very bad news.

    Without being silly, I also do want to compliment you on that beautiful tree. Have a great Christmas, and be sure that your family will gain a deeper appreciation of the message of Christmas.

    Hope that you don't mind this rather long winded message from a stranger, whose eyes were caught by the spirit of your posts.

    Cheers!

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  33. What brilliant news for you, at least you can have a peaceful Christmas and relax a litle bit. It is such a sad time at the moment, I was in a shop on Wedenesday and the man stood next to me was being told on his mobile he was being made reduntant, how awful was that, his wife was with him and I felt really sad for them. But your news is just wonderful for you all....claire xx

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  34. I'm so pleased that, for now, you have better news concerning your hubby's job. At the very least, it gives you all a bit of breathing space to plan what to do next?

    As others have said in their comments - gather your family close and just enjoy being together.

    Willow xx

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  35. Me again, popped into your friends shop Wyatts in Cardiff yesterday, what a beautiful shop, full of lovely things that I could only window shop for!! Claire xx

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  36. Oh my goodness - thats awful - what a stressful time i wish I had some good sound useful words to say...

    hope you are ok
    Sam ;0)

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  37. Dear Sairer, I really was frightened when I read this post. Christmas time always seems to be a very special time, where no one should have problems or have to worry. A sacred time. But reality isn´t often like that and therefore I am happy that your husband still has his job. But I am, like you, also thinking of his collegues who where not as lucky and I completely could understand his feeling guilty. Here in Germany it´s maybe not as bad as in your country at the moment, as far as I know, but the newspapers also don´t tell the best for the next year. Stay close to your hope that all the angels and the best of their luck is with you and your family. I strongly believe that with the love and help of my husband and family I could manage everything, even the worst situation, that there is always a new way and a new chance. My thoughts are with you and I am wishing you to keep the faith in your luck.
    With my very best wishes, S.

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  38. Sairer, I've only just seen your post and was happy to see that your dh has kept his job. I'm sorry all the bad things are hitting you at once and I hope they all pass very soon. When I'm low I always remember the saying, 'its always darkest before the dawn', so often it turns out to be true .
    Your Harry has done an excellent job of the tree. Well done Harry :-)

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  39. So sorry to hear about all the crap you're going through at the moment. Life throws pretty horrid stuff at us sometimes and it can be difficult to see any light I know. I hope the New Year brings happier times for you, I really do, you thoroughly deserve it, after all you brought a gem like Harry into the world!
    Julia xx

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  40. Hi no response expected Sairer glad to hear that hubby has his job still. These are scary times ahead - its happened so quickly and the fat cat b******* who caused it will be sitting at home fatter than ever and not even thinking - Goodness what have I done. The wrose thing is that the people at the bottom were never greedy just those at the top whose reduced circumstances would be like a lottery win to most of us. Gosh that was a bit political but don't get sickened when there are people out there like that one who duped all those billions off people - its more scary that the wise men at the top of our banks are piad to look after our money and they can't.

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  41. Hi, read your blog for a while now and tonight's post really shocked me so I had to write to you. Your lovely boy waving his wand trying to make it all ok for you. Hopefully you'll be able to light your fire and all cuddle up together and keep the world at bay for a bit. You really need people behind you right now and it seems you have a lot of hands with fingers crossed, so here's hoping it does work. I really hope things turn around, you deserve it as you sound a fantastic family.
    Best wishes
    Lisa

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  42. What a wake up call that was and a reminder that life can bite you on the bum without more than a second's notice. I think this is going to be something we hear more and more in the new year.. I am so sorry to hear this and really hope next year is your year. Be strong xx

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  43. Hello Sairer. I'm sorry to hear all your tales of woe. Just want to say that if you don't mind I will pray for you and your family. Firstly a prayer of thanks that your husband has kept his job. And then for his employment in the future, your health, and lastly that whatever the future holds (and we none of us know that with any certainty at all) that God would fill you all with His peace. Bless you.

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  44. Hi
    I'm sorry to hear that things are shitty for you at the minute - I breathed a sigh of relief that your hubby has a reprieve on the job front. Makes Christmas that bit more bearable.
    Its a scary place to be in - financial unrest..so,Happy Christmas from me - heres hoping 2009 brings you the good fortune you deserve. XxXx

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  45. I'd just like to echo Alchamillamolly's rant. The banks and building societies are supposed to be the professionals, but what a hell of a cock up. It's the people like us who have always been careful with our money who are paying for it. Maybe if they had to pay back all the huge bonuses they've had over the years, they'd be more concienscious. OOO! I'd didn't mean to write all that. I was just so upset when I read your post.
    I'm glad your hubby still has his job and I'm sending you best wishes for Christmas and the New Year. My heart goes out to all his co-workers who weren't as lucky. Love Fi x

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  46. This was such an emotional and heart-wrenching post to read and I very much sympathise with your situation. My husband was made redundant today, such a shock when he has never been out of work in his life. These are strange and sad times for so many of us and I hope you can continue to hang on to the positive things and try to take pleasure in little things around you. I'm very glad to hear your husband still has his job that must have been such a painful experience for him.

    Sending you very best wishes and hopes.

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  47. Hi there Sairer,
    its Jasmine from VanillaPress..I always did love your blog, its so real and down to earth..
    I disappeared for a while due to personal issues..I can relate to what you are going through, it seems that everything bad has happened in my life in the past 2 years..I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel..and I am slowly seeing through the cracks..
    You seem to me to be a very positive person and you will get through the tough times..It really does help to blog as well, to share your feelings and thats what I missed about blogging!
    looking forward to keeping up with you again.
    Love, Jasmine X

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  48. HI I am so sorry to hear your bad news, this sort of new is bad at anytime of the year but especially at christmas and especially when you have children depending on you being the one to make their dreams come true.....all I can say is try and enjoy christmas the old fashioned way, not the modren materialistic way.... you have each others company and as long as you have a warm bed and a big smile what more could you wish for.... I truly hope things improve for you. We have three small children to support on one wage, like you a LARGE overdraft and a bloody credit card, which we have lived on for the last few months, luckily my husbands job is ok for now but who knows what the future holds...... you are certainly not alone.....Take Care and try and relax for the sake of your children.... they need their mum more than any christmas prezzie....

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  49. So very sorry life is so hard right now. You are in my prayers.
    With love and blessings x

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  50. I don't blame you for feeling grumpy - I was so pleased to read in your PS that Pete still has his job - what a worrying time it has been for you.

    I had to have one of those24 hour blood pressure monitors too & it was so irritating at night.

    Hope you all have a happy Christmas & well done to Harry for decorating the tree so prettily.

    Jayne

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  51. I hope that you do kick back and have a relaxing christmas, and that 2009 picks up for you. Sounds like you have had a rough year.

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  52. Hi Sairer,
    I read your blog post a few days ago and really didn't know what to say....I'm glad to read your update, but do appreciate how you and your hubby must be feeling.
    Look after each other and try to relax over the Christmas break.
    Thay do say that if we all carry on as normal, as much as we possibly can, the credit crunch may not work out to be as bad as we are all fearing...I know its easily said, but we need to remain optimistic.
    Keep smiling.
    Wishing you a very happy Christmas and I hope that 2009 will turn out to be a great year for you.
    Niki x

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  53. Just wanted to send you a big hug and a hope that things get better for you !!

    Sara x

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  54. Just to add a big hug from me too. I drop by from time to time and was sorry to read this somewhat sadder blog than you usually write though the pictures, as always, are beautiful. Well done the boy.
    'if it is for you it won't go by you', is a phrase I particularly like and belive is true.
    I am sure the boys will understand but do keep them in the loop.
    Hang on in there, and do try to enjoy Christmas as a family time not a shopping (or lack of it) time.
    CKx

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  55. Here I sit and have to say, 3 days before Christmas my husband was told he was laid off from his job. He also has M.S. and if he doesn't go on disablity we'll have no insurance. Sweetie, it just stinks to have to live like this, can't people just give anyone some slack before the holidays? I hope for you your husband keeps his job. Wishing you luck, love and happiness for 2009, we all will need the luck! Lori

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Thankyou,thankyou,thankyou for being so lovely as to leave a message!..I try to reply to your messages on here,so check back if you dont hear from me..but please dont be offended if I dont get time to respond, each one is totally appreciated. They make my day. x

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